Friends
When You Try Too Hard…
And fall flat on your face. Or atleast I think I did.
Back in August my son and I took a trip to Vancouver. The girls were in Europe for a good month and given my work situation I could not join them. My son also spent time in Europe with some friends so he had a good summer of travel. I needed to feel like I had a vacation so at a moment’s notice we decided on Vancouver. My main motivation was that I wanted to see some friends I hadn’t seen person to person since our teenage years. Mind you, I did cross paths with my friend back in our mid/late twenties in downtown Montreal but his sister I hadn’t seen in forever. I was both excited and anxiety filled because… me.
After numerous discussions with myself I finally sent my friend a message only once we got to Vancouver.. Essentially our first full day there. Given I just sprang this on him I was fully prepared to accept if we couldn’t get together. Luckily that was not the case and we set a date to get together.
We planned to meet at his sister’s house so that we could go over to their moms who lived close by as I absolutely wanted to see her.
This is where things start to spiral down due to ….me… I just don’t get it. In the end I think I am my worst enemy.
For the most part my nerves got the best of me. And when I get nervous I also start to stutter. It’s interesting. I have had many people over the years, including colleagues (my boss specifically) compliment me on my writing skills… unfortunately that does not translate to when I speak. Sometimes. I always say that I am not eloquent when I speak.
I also over analyze and that always makes things worse and unnecessary.
So let’s analyze, shall we? 😆
Leading up to the meet I was stressing over the fact I could not remember their mom’s name. Literally beside myself with anxiety… and so I stuttered through asking what her name is.
When we got to their moms I sat on a chair and immediately realized and felt something was wrong with the chair. It moved like it was going to break apart. So a normal human being would have said something.. Me? Mr. over analyze things, felt like I didn’t want to embarrass the mom and decided to stay seated and move as little as possible while praying to the gods that I was mistaken… but as time went on there were subtle indications I was not wrong. And then the moment happened; the chair collapsed under me. Thankfully, I guess, my ninja like reflexes kicked in and I was able to grab onto the table and so didn’t flat out fall completely to the floor. Still an embarrassing moment.
After I switched chairs we caught up a little and things were going great. At one point I was asked if I’d ever retire to Italy. I could have made the answer somewhat simple but instead I brought up the fact we bought property there at the onset of covid. It bothers me so much because it can certainly come across as showing off. And really that is not who I am.
Fast forward to the restaurant.
We order drinks and soon after the waitress comes paper and pen in hand and says something. She was at the far end and admittedly I didn’t hear what she said so assumed. My response was clearly wrong because she walked away and that caused some laughter.
Would it have been so hard to just stay quiet or ask the waitress to repeat herself? Serenity now.
The catching up we did at the restaurant was so good. I could have spent hours and hours with them… unfortunately it was a weekday and unlike my son and I they had work the next day. So how could I end the night without another blunder? 🤔
I decided that I would pick up the tab. The reason was all but innocent. Here I am sitting with friends I hadn’t seen in years. I didn’t give them a heads up I’d be in their neighborhood. Yet they made the time for my son and I when they could have said no and I would have understood. I was very grateful for that. Simply put, it was my way of saying thank you and nothing more. Honestly, I don’t know that I could have found the words to properly express how I was feeling. Yet because of how my brain works all I could think about after the fact and AGAIN was ‘what if they thought I was showing off?’. My brain.
You know that expression… you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression. I feel I failed. I hope I am wrong. I’ve had moments since where I thought of reaching out and explaining but knowing my luck I would just make things worse and unnecessarily awkward.
The week in Vancouver was too short so it’s definitely not a one and done. I would like to return with the whole family once I can compile a massive amount of $$$ 😋.. Beautiful city but wowsa. Another get together with my friends is definitely in the cards and hopefully I can do better this time around.
I thought by writing down my misadventures it would be cathartic… but to this day and months later I am angry at myself and writing it down has not really helped. 😆
I’ll be there for you…
I watched the #friends reunion and it gave me all sorts of feels…good and sad…atleast no bad feelings though.
Before I get into it I have to state that the funniest on the show was Ross hands down.. Followed closely by Phoebe and Joey…then Monica, Rachel and finally Chandler. Over the years they all had their moments so it’s really difficult to rank them but I think for me this is it.
I wish they had made the reunion longer. There should have been more surprises in the mix but I do understand that covid made things difficult. I am not sure either about some of the guest choices… was it just that they were available due to the circumstances? Anyway I digress.
I don’t get the hate toward Corden hosting but people gotta hate on everything to feel good about themselves.
I loved how easily they got back into character… Lisa ‘my eyes’ Kudrow is just too awesome.
Their reminiscing was amazing, touching and with some added surprising revelations.
The reunion also made me sad for a couple of reasons… we are getting old. I am in their age bracket and when they flashed back to the early years and seeing them now I couldn’t help but feel old. It’s crazy. 51 isn’t that old but still I feel bothered.
I also felt for Matthew Perry. Nevermind his last minute emergency procedure.. He just seemed sad. Down. Not out of place but certainly looked at times like he wasn’t really into it. It could have been related to his procedure but still… Of all of them it’s fair to say that Matthew has a harder time of things and it shows… I almost feel bad ranking him least funny but atleast for me his character was more annoying than funny… could I be any more wrong? In this case, I’m afraid the answer is no.
Time to Hang Up The Coaching Cleats
After 14 years I decided this season would be my last as a volunteer soccer coach. Fourteen years. That is a long time. I could make this post a very, very long one but I won’t. It will only be a long-ish one 😋. Although there were some bumps in the road, the 14 years for the most part were great years. I’d be lying if I wrote that I remember every single detail of these 14 years. I don’t.
When I set out on this adventure, it was innocent enough and really for my son. You want to do right by everyone but eventually you realize you cannot. It is impossible. I don’t have any regrets but certainly I wish I could have done some things differently. You want to be everyone’s friend but you cannot and will not. I definitely learned a lot over the years. From the great moments, to the good moments and also the not so good moments. I definitely made friends over the years but I also made a lot of what I will refer to as FBFFS … fake best friends forever. These are the folks that needed something from me and so either befriended me or family members for motives that were anything but sincere. There are a lot of bad people in this world.. But you know what? To each his own. I am far from perfect but I would rather be me then some of the folks I got to know over these years. From the down right evil, to insecure people who need to be the center of attention, to parents who think it’s ok to trash talk kids because as long as the kid doesn’t hear it, no harm no foul. To bullies and to those parents that supported this bullying. To parents who themselves bullied but poo poo’d when the tables were turned. My biggest disappointment came four years ago when a family we had such a fantastic friendship with over many many years turned out to be less than the people we thought they were. It truly shattered our family. I can go on and on but that would take away the good that came out of all these years as coach. For one, I continue to watch as these kids are growing up to be fine young adults. It’s amazing to see. Many I have known since they were 4-5 years old. As much as you want to be that coach that affected, in a good way, all the players that crossed your path, it doesn’t work out that way but I know that I did so with many. I have had the opportunity to reminisce in recent years with former players and it’s always a great feeling. Four years ago our family had the pleasure of hosting a 14 year old young man for three months during the summer. What a pleasure indeed. So disciplined. So caring. So focused. A truly genuine lad beyond his years who also showed true friendship to my son; unlike some others. We learned a lot from each other; our cultures. It’s something I will forever cherish and remember. I continue to follow his success in football (he’s gotten a scholarship in the US) and I expect to see him one day in the NFL quarterbacking a team all the way to the Super Bowl. No doubt in my mind 😀👍. It was his birthday over the weekend and I wished him well and he sent love our way. Very heartfelt. This is the kind of stuff you live for. The bad, you toss aside. As with anything, quality over quantity. There are alot more moments but if I don’t stop myself this will indeed become a very very long post!
I would be incredibly remiss if I didn’t write about what a great human being my son is. A fine young adult as well. He had to endure a lot over these years. An exceptional player at a very young age, he went through difficult times starting at age 13 when everyone around him was growing but he wasn’t. It became a struggle for him on the pitch and he suffered for it. Both on and off for several years. Many a time he had to endure being collateral damage on account of my being a coach. Very difficult for a kid to go through but he showed strength in overcoming this and we are proud of who he is becoming. In his first year at college last year he made the Dean’s list twice. That’s who he is. We know he will achieve greatness. That’s what matters. A few years ago an ‘adult’ went on this rant on Facebook about heroes and zeroes. He was trying to send a message. It was ridiculous especially coming from him and the hypocrite and bully he is. Well.. Let me tell you, I strive to be a hero to my kids. That’s all that is important to me but in the end for all he had to go through my son is my hero.
I stopped coaching my son three years ago. The plan was to retire then but I was talked into staying on. I wish I hadn’t. The past few years have been an eye opener. my expectations and what actually happened, night and day. At the beginning of this season I made it clear it would be my last. Over these many years I put my heart and soul into this. I worked very hard at it. As a family we sacrificed alot. It’s time now to make our family the center of attention. Yup, it’s actually a very very late wake up call but in the end better late than never.
Goodbye Old Friend
Over your lifetime you will make tons of friends.. some will remain lifetime friends, some will come and go and some you will realize were ‘faux friends’. God knows i’ve met quite…
Source: Goodbye Old Friend
Our Annual Christmas Dinner
Every year my buddies (from highschool) and I make it a point to get together with our better half for our traditional xmas dinner. We try to make it a point to see each other as much as possible but at a minimum it happens during the holiday period. We’re normally four couples but this year we added two more to the fold. It was so great to see both Domenic and Vince and as always to catch up on old times. It’s incredible how time flies but at the same time it’s amazing and funny how our stories never get old!!! To good, true friends!!!
My Random Thoughts 