bully

Sunday morning coffee with a little musing: hockey culture = bully culture?

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The firing of Don Cherry sure as hell caused a lot of buzz. As is the case with everything, there was a divide as to whether his firing was justified. His firing ended up being a topic of conversation on ‘The Social’ as well. Jess Allen spoke on it and when she told her story and made her comments I understood them to be ‘her experience’. Apparently I was in the minority as many felt she was generalizing hockey culture. And with that she and the network got tons of backlash demanding for her firing.. In the end she and the network put out an apology. I’ll be honest I don’t think she was generalizing at all but I also don’t think she was far off either. For a few years I saw first hand what she described as her experience. Were all the players bullies? No. Were all the parents bullies? No. But there were enough. Were they all privileged? No. But there were enough in that camp as well. And at the end of the day, all it takes is one bully for it to be a pblm. At the time I was coaching soccer and a good portion of the players were elite hockey players as well (As a sidebar, not one player of color). Players that trained year round. And one time when I had the ‘audacity’ to ask a parent to put an effort to get his kid to soccer practice as well during the summer I had this parent tell me that his kid didn’t need to practice soccer because he was ‘that good’. Saying this to me all the while poking me in the chest with his forefinger. So ya, someone had audacity but it wasn’t me. Bullying and privileged culture was and is alive and well in hockey. That’s but one example so you might think I shouldn’t make a mountain out of a molehill but that wasn’t the only example. If I were to document all my experiences, this post would last for days. But at the same time I also need to call a spade, a spade. This exists in all walks of life.
Anyway, the same people who called out the Don Cherry firing an unnecessary over reaction were now calling for the firing of Jess Allen for speaking her truth and her experience. Cancel culture at its best.

Dear @SnapChat, stop being a bully!!!

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A month or so ago i decided to find out what this @SnapChat is all about. I was curious. I initially installed the android port on my beloved @Blackberry but it was acting up a little so decided to try a native @Blackberry app; #Snap10…Given that i don’t know anyone using this app i simply decided to follow “brands”. After using the app for a while i realized that unlike the SNL “church lady” i didn’t find myself saying “well, isn’t that special!!!”. I guess i don’t see the fascination. Anyway – over a week ago i got an email from “Team Snapchat”.. they locked my account and told me to unlock it i had to go to their site (URL kindly provided) BUT that i had to stop using the 3rd party app i was using. Sooo.. i went to unlock my account and promptly deleted the 3rd party app #Snap10. I haven’t snapchatted since…In the end @SnapChat isn’t “that special”.. i thought that was the end of it…well, yesterday i received yet another email from @SnapChat…

“We’ve noticed that you have continued using third-party apps, so we have locked your account. You can unlock your account by changing your password. But if we find that you go back to using third-party apps after unlocking your account, we will permanently lock your account. We regret taking that action, but it’s a matter of safety: Using third-party applications can compromise your account.

Please note that your account will be permanently locked if you use third-party apps, even if you switch devices.”

Say what? How you figure i am still using a 3rd party app? I am not. Makes me wonder though how @SnapChat determines this and why they think i am still using @SnapChat. I mean seriously.. they don’t want me using 3rd party apps for my safety… alrighty then. You don’t know me… Maybe i am a risk taker!!! Anyway – rather then be bullys about things and send out these types of emails where they “lock” your account and bully you out of using the app of your choice… @SnapChat should channel their efforts into making their official app available for all platforms. And that sir, is my opinion.

Who failed Rehtaeh Parsons? Almost everyone | Daily Brew – Yahoo! News Canada

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Who failed Rehtaeh Parsons? Almost everyone | Daily Brew – Yahoo! News Canada.

This is just such a tragedy. They all are. Who failed her? There is so much to go around… U would think that after the Amanda Todd suicide that there would be change… Mind you, a little naïve on my part. Amanda taking her life didn’t happen too long ago but still…such tragedy. It breaks my heart when I read articles like this one. Amanda’s video was gut wrenching… Reading the open letter Rehtaeh’s dad wrote to her post death was gut wrenching. I think the world, in general, has gotten so rotten in so many ways. I have kids; a boy and a girl.. And all I can do is worry about the world they live in and what it’s becoming. It’s a world that is very detached. It’s a world that is becoming heartless. Noone truly cares. It’s a world of bullies..It’s a world that has become desensitized to violence. It’s a world that glorifies violence.. Vampires, werewolves, zombies… This is what is ‘cool’…violence on TV is beyond graphic… I can actually admit to the fact that an episode of ‘the following’ got me sick to my stomach…Then u have the video games… Don’t even get me started on that one. Obviously I will not be that person that lays entire blame on these games. I do believe that ultimately there is something wrong within a person that leads them to a path of darkness…that inability to separate fantasy from the real world… These games don’t help though… Just adds to that desensitization I wrote of earlier.
Not one month ago, two college students were convicted of rape and the girl was vilified on Facebook and threatened… The girl.. Really? If I recall, even CNN was blasted for being sympathetic towards the 2 boys. An example of a distorted mindset.
Bullying has always existed but the advent of social networking has created an unbearable environment in our society. It’s tough enough as an adult but imagine for a child regardless of age. It’s an ugly, ugly world. To be bullied in such a public way… My god.. Horrendous. How do u ask a kid to have a tough skin about it? How? How do u ask or expect a kid to just forget about it? Growing up I was bullied.. Some really bad times early in high school… But even then I knew that essentially I had two choices… U let it defeat you or u rise above it…I chose the latter. In the end I was able to get past it all and u know what things did get better!! For anyone to get past it they need support.. Some more than others. Everyone is different and deals with things differently but regardless they will always need someone. They always need to know that someone cares.. And not just their parents. They need to know that others care… But nobody does… They just talk the talk but noone walks the walk… maybe I shouldn’t write “noone” … But far too little is being done.
I started this blog entry late yesterday afternoon… And took my time with it… I could probably go on and on but I won’t. At one point yesterday I read that the group ‘anonymous’ tracked down and identified 3 of the 4 culprits and were very close to getting the 4th. I don’t always agree with what this group stands for but u know what? I was happy to see that they accomplished what the police couldn’t. This morning, the question on the news was ‘is what anonymous doing now also a form of bullying?’… Unfortunately I had to leave so could not see the piece but… Again.. Makes u wonder…four boys rape a girl, she takes abuse for it, for that she takes her own life… A vigilante group regardless of their other motives, does the right thing and tracks down the culprits… And somehow that is wrong? I understand that two wrongs don’t make a right but who exactly was the victim here?

Rest in Peace Rehtaeh.