The start of the new year is normally always exciting and a welcome. For one, and most importantly, my son was born on January 4th so we get to celebrate that. Secondly, the new year brings with it a fresh start. Unfortunately, this year it also brought some sadness. On Jan 3rd I was forced to make the difficult decision to put down our wonderful caramel.
Caramel was 13yrs old… I was completely gutted. I feel some guilt that maybe had I acted quicker things would have been different but the doctor says that would not have been the case. For about a week prior I noticed that caramel was drinking a ton of water and also urinating a ton as well. I didn’t make much of it because she was still eating. Over the last weekend of December though I noticed she wasn’t eating any more and for a couple days I tried in vain to force feed her watered down food through a syringe. When I didn’t see any improvement I took her to the vet only to hear the bad news. According to the doctor in all likelihood she had kidney failure and she didn’t even recommend trying anything as she was too far gone. Caramel’s temperature was very low which indicated she was close to the end. Running tests and giving her meds would only prolong the inevitable and the humane thing to do was to put her down It was devastating to hear. My daughter was with me balling and I had to avoid looking at her as I didn’t want to break down in front of the doctor. We were given some time with caramel and then she was taken away.
She is missed dearly. I can see that Clementine too misses caramel.
This is just such a tragedy. They all are. Who failed her? There is so much to go around… U would think that after the Amanda Todd suicide that there would be change… Mind you, a little naïve on my part. Amanda taking her life didn’t happen too long ago but still…such tragedy. It breaks my heart when I read articles like this one. Amanda’s video was gut wrenching… Reading the open letter Rehtaeh’s dad wrote to her post death was gut wrenching. I think the world, in general, has gotten so rotten in so many ways. I have kids; a boy and a girl.. And all I can do is worry about the world they live in and what it’s becoming. It’s a world that is very detached. It’s a world that is becoming heartless. Noone truly cares. It’s a world of bullies..It’s a world that has become desensitized to violence. It’s a world that glorifies violence.. Vampires, werewolves, zombies… This is what is ‘cool’…violence on TV is beyond graphic… I can actually admit to the fact that an episode of ‘the following’ got me sick to my stomach…Then u have the video games… Don’t even get me started on that one. Obviously I will not be that person that lays entire blame on these games. I do believe that ultimately there is something wrong within a person that leads them to a path of darkness…that inability to separate fantasy from the real world… These games don’t help though… Just adds to that desensitization I wrote of earlier.
Not one month ago, two college students were convicted of rape and the girl was vilified on Facebook and threatened… The girl.. Really? If I recall, even CNN was blasted for being sympathetic towards the 2 boys. An example of a distorted mindset.
Bullying has always existed but the advent of social networking has created an unbearable environment in our society. It’s tough enough as an adult but imagine for a child regardless of age. It’s an ugly, ugly world. To be bullied in such a public way… My god.. Horrendous. How do u ask a kid to have a tough skin about it? How? How do u ask or expect a kid to just forget about it? Growing up I was bullied.. Some really bad times early in high school… But even then I knew that essentially I had two choices… U let it defeat you or u rise above it…I chose the latter. In the end I was able to get past it all and u know what things did get better!! For anyone to get past it they need support.. Some more than others. Everyone is different and deals with things differently but regardless they will always need someone. They always need to know that someone cares.. And not just their parents. They need to know that others care… But nobody does… They just talk the talk but noone walks the walk… maybe I shouldn’t write “noone” … But far too little is being done.
I started this blog entry late yesterday afternoon… And took my time with it… I could probably go on and on but I won’t. At one point yesterday I read that the group ‘anonymous’ tracked down and identified 3 of the 4 culprits and were very close to getting the 4th. I don’t always agree with what this group stands for but u know what? I was happy to see that they accomplished what the police couldn’t. This morning, the question on the news was ‘is what anonymous doing now also a form of bullying?’… Unfortunately I had to leave so could not see the piece but… Again.. Makes u wonder…four boys rape a girl, she takes abuse for it, for that she takes her own life… A vigilante group regardless of their other motives, does the right thing and tracks down the culprits… And somehow that is wrong? I understand that two wrongs don’t make a right but who exactly was the victim here?
Rest in Peace Rehtaeh.