A life lesson learned at the ripe old age of 50. Last week a colleague of mine passed away. A few months back she had had a mild stroke. She went through a stint in rehab then returned to work slowly with half days and then full time. I was given the news of her stroke from another colleague who was nice enough to update me every time she got news. I never reached out while she was off work. I felt uncomfortable doing so even though we go way back. Given I was getting updates I thought that once she got back to work it would be easier to reach out. It didn’t. Days became weeks and then as I always tend to do I over think things and felt embarrassment over the fact that so much time had gone by.
How do I call her now after all this time?
What do I say?
I won’t have that chance now. There’s a lot of guilt in me that I didn’t call her. And for what? Inexcusable. Forget the embarrassment I felt. The guilt will forever bother me. The day the news came I was a wreck and could not focus. I was abrupt with everyone. It was a difficult day. To this day I cannot bring myself up to bring her up in conversation with the colleague that was updating me on her progress. It’s still too hard.
RIP. Gone too soon. You were first and foremost a great person but also a great colleague. It was always a pleasure working with you as you made it very easy. Your demeanor was fantastic. You also ‘got me’… which made me feel reassured. You will be missed.
Before I get into my silver lining I think I should bring up the not so silver lining of this pandemic. When this virus first reared its ugly head I don’t think anyone would have imagined that it would be what it is today. Even while things were starting to unravel in Italy I recall my cousin out there thinking it was nothing and that people were unnecessarily panicking over nothing. Well so much for that.
Let’s start this off with some things that are grinding my gears. We’re living through a crisis that I thought in my lifetime I would never experience. A bit naive on my part but still to this day there are people out there denying there is a problem. People out there on social media blaming the media for sensationalism. What in the hell? The reality is that sensationalism has been par for the course for many years now. The FACT remains that there is a virus out there KILLING people. Is the media putting fear into people? Yes. It’s called the fear of DYING!
I read the other day (and I wish I had screen grabbed it) someone actually questioning if all these people dying are really dying from covid19. Seriously.
There’s no doubt there have been mis-steps by countries and governments..Italy, Spain… the imbecile running Brazil… but none worse than the one running the US of A. Here’s a man that denied there was an issue. A man who called it a hoax created by the dems. A man who stated it was all under control. Is it any surprise that the USA finds itself in the shape they’re in? How can the population that voted this man into power take this pandemic seriously when their leader doesn’t? I have read supporters state that this shouldn’t all fall on his shoulders. Say what? Yes. Yes it should. You voted him in. Deal with it. A timeline of his nonsense up until March 13th.. Days later the shit hit the fan and USA is now #1 in the world!!
Then you have these winners right here… evangelists. Dear God. Dumb and dumber yelling at god to fix things. Who would have thought it was that simple? And all the while they continue to demand that their sheep keep coming out in droves to their pure and unadulterated garbage and money grab. Kenneth Copeland is the devil incarnate. And let’s not forget Joel Olsteen, another criminal. A blast from the past, Jim Baker who apparently has the cure! Hallelujah Jesus!! And last but not least this numbnut with his divine knowledge:
I think it’s time to shift gears otherwise this post won’t have any silver Linings at all!!!😂
I think I will list out the silver Linings:
- The biggest and most important thing to come out of this whole pandemic is fantastic family time. It’s crazy to think it took this. From board games, to cooking, to baking, to exercising. To … wait for it… talking. Conversation! Wowww. 😂
- Working from home. I am blessed that I work in an industry that allows me to do this. It’s very convenient. I actually still start my day like always (730am) but I gain an hour of sleep. I start my day in pjs… and by noon at the latest I get dressed to go nowhere. I am also putting in way more hours. Double edged sword, I guess. 🙂
- I’ve seen pictures and read stories of the world getting healthier.. The reduction in pollution, the dolphins in Venice waters for example. The universe took extreme steps and forced us humans to step back and allow it to breathe.
- It’s wonderful to see that for the most part the world has come together to help each other. I say for the most part because there is still a portion of the world that is evil. That portion that tries to take advantage of the circumstances and take advantage of vulnerable people.
I’ll start off by writing that I have never ever been into basketball. I recall in high school playing it in gym class but ask me today what the rules are and maybe I know one.
Kobe Bryant for me is like any other celebrity… I know of him from the sport he played and TV. I don’t know him. There is a difference.
A few weeks back 9 people lost their lives needlessly. Clearer heads should have prevailed but failed to do so. Of course given his celebrity the majority of the attention was on Kobe and his daughter Gigi. It was mostly praise and accolades but there were those that felt the need to bring up the fact he was a rapist. So here’s the thing.. I only know what I’ve read so I am not an authority on this. Back in 2003 he had what he thought was consensual sex with someone. It turned out not to be the case. They settled out of court. This happened years ago .. Which let me make clear doesn’t change anything. I am not making excuses for the man. You need to own up to the things you’ve done. You need to be accountable. What I don’t understand is the motivation of those who felt the need to bring this up now that he died. I am someone who lives for news (I know, sad) and I am constantly reading news. I can’t remember in recent years ever reading about these allegations. That is, why weren’t these same people making noise while he was alive? Why couldn’t they keep reminding him that he was a rapist? Why didn’t they hound him while he was alive? Wouldn’t the impact have been greater? Maybe it was happening and it wasn’t making the news but I doubt it. Nowadays everything seems to make the news. He’s dead now. What impact are you making by bringing this up now? What impact does it have on him? What good does it do to his grieving family and daughters? It’s just about attention seeking. Is what it is.
The start of the new year is normally always exciting and a welcome. For one, and most importantly, my son was born on January 4th so we get to celebrate that. Secondly, the new year brings with it a fresh start. Unfortunately, this year it also brought some sadness. On Jan 3rd I was forced to make the difficult decision to put down our wonderful caramel.
Caramel was 13yrs old… I was completely gutted. I feel some guilt that maybe had I acted quicker things would have been different but the doctor says that would not have been the case. For about a week prior I noticed that caramel was drinking a ton of water and also urinating a ton as well. I didn’t make much of it because she was still eating. Over the last weekend of December though I noticed she wasn’t eating any more and for a couple days I tried in vain to force feed her watered down food through a syringe. When I didn’t see any improvement I took her to the vet only to hear the bad news. According to the doctor in all likelihood she had kidney failure and she didn’t even recommend trying anything as she was too far gone. Caramel’s temperature was very low which indicated she was close to the end. Running tests and giving her meds would only prolong the inevitable and the humane thing to do was to put her down It was devastating to hear. My daughter was with me balling and I had to avoid looking at her as I didn’t want to break down in front of the doctor. We were given some time with caramel and then she was taken away.
She is missed dearly. I can see that Clementine too misses caramel.
Last night I listened to this podcast and it just broke my heart. In the end Joan was just looking to be loved. I commented to a colleague about how much tragedy has come out of the WWE and in listening to this u come to understand and realize why. The McMahon’s. I am not surprised at all that Tripe H is involved as well. That Chyna’s downward spiral involved him. I don’t know the guy but he comes across as a real asshole. A lifetime ago I got to see Chyna at my local gym. Triple H was there too and she was pretty much glued to him… I wanted to so badly approach her for a picture but didn’t because of him. He came across as so unapproachable that I figured he’d just embarrass me…What a presence she had though. I was completely infatuated with her. And to watch her evolve in WWE was awesome ! Yes, she was a pioneer, a ground breaker of barriers. To listen to Vince Russo talk about the McMahon’s as being users and abusers is not surprising.. through gym life I got to see and meet some wrestlers when they came to Montreal… some were unapproachable, some weren’t… Razor Ramon, Warlord were guys I was able to have conversations with… and there was never anything good to say about Vince McMahon. A Tyrant.
Russo mentioned the many times Joan was out of it and as I mentioned in my earlier post… a few weeks back on twitter I felt that too.. she was putting out tweets that were incoherent.. I think to the point where fans were concerned so she tweeted a reassuring tweet that she was ‘ok’..she clearly wasn’t.
It’s very sad that Chyna left us and was not able to get that closure she certainly deserved.
A few months back, Hazel our 2nd oldest cat (5 years old), started to lose weight. The weight loss was very noticeable but at the time I thought it had to do with the fact I had changed their diet… as both Caramel and Hazel were really hefty… However, as time went on I noticed she was also getting lethargic… was keeping to herself, would stay in our bedroom closet for hours on end. I knew something was up so I brought her to the vet. The news wasn’t good. She had water in her lungs and what looked to be a tumor. The doctor actually wanted me to put down that night. I refused and asked how long hazel had. Not long. That was 2 months ago. During these 2 months we tried our best to keep her comfortable.. brought her food and water.. she didn’t eat much but she drank quite a bit.
On monday night after dinner I was watching TV when I started to hear a feint meowing coming from the basement. I knew it was happening… that she was dying… it was so difficult to see her struggle. she was gasping for air, meowing and trembling. It was very difficult to watch. I am 44 and I can honestly say that in all these years on earth I have never witnessed a death. I just held her and stroked her until she passed on. RIP our beloved hazel.