The road to becoming empty nesters has begun.
This long labor day weekend has been super busy getting our daughter settled in, in Ottawa where she will be attending school. A lot of drives to and back from Ottawa. It started Friday and it came to a close, for lack of better words, last night.
This year has been heavy on me; anxiety wise. She took her first trip without us this summer. Traveled to Europe with a friend for six weeks. It was a long six weeks!! She’s following this up by leaving the nest for her studies. Of course we’re incredibly proud of her and this accomplishment but at the same time, selfishly, I wanted her to stay local….. And yes, I get it.. I need to accept and cut the cord.. I am hearing it from everyone!!!
I am already feeling the pinch today. With all the weekend hustle and bustle it really didn’t sink in…today it has. The house is quieter :(… I already miss her and her fire cracker of a personality… one of the best things about my daughter.. And there are many… is her sense of humor…my god she is funny.
As her father all I can do is continue to love her unconditionally.. Support her in her adventures and in what her heart desires and miss her quietly.
that life isn’t fair… It’s one of those things that is never easy to deal with.. at one point though you have to make that decision to either let it break you or you move forward and continue the fight. The right thing to do of course is to move forward even if at that moment it feels like a lost battle.
a little play on words but … “what doesn’t break you, makes you stronger”.
There’s no way that I will write a post on my entire 2014 year. For one, it would make for a long post. Secondly, I can’t remember what I did last week imagine an entire year. I decided to pick a couple of moments that defined my year. To no surprise one thing that came to mind involves my time in youth soccer and in fact 2014 was actually a product of what transpired in 2013. The two years combined thought me so much. About myself and others and in the end what’s important in life and more importantly who is important. I’ve been involved in youth soccer for many years… over 10 years… 2013 was by far the worse experience.. it was, to quote a person I thought of as a friend, a dark period for our family. We were in a ‘dark place’. I won’t delve into it but it was a difficult time. Whereas 2013 showed me that there a lot of mean, mean people in this world 2014 showed me that there are far more good hearted people in this world that trump those not so good hearted ones. What I learned over the last 2 years is that everyone has a dark side.. how much comes out really depends on the person. 2013 caused my dark side to come out. Being in that dark place made me a dark person. Did things I wish I could take back but unfortunately I can’t. All I can do is be a better person and in the end I believe that dark time thought me a lot about a lot. The important thing about being in that dark place was that I was able to come out of it. Some people don’t.
Things I learned:
1) i’d rather be a true hero to a few people (namely my kids) than to be a fake hero to many.
2) in the same token i’d rather have a few true/good friends than have what I refer to as #BFFFs; ‘Best fake friends forever’. I crossed path with people who only want to be your friend because they want or need something from you.
3) some adults need to move on and ‘let go’. Learn from your kids.
4) rather than own up to your own insecurities/character flaws and deal with the true issue at hand some choose to rant and deflect attention onto others.
5) some folks need a good mirror. Pot meet kettle, kettle meet pot.
6) some people are cancerous. Plain and simple.
7) a person’s word whether spoken or written means nothing nowadays.
8) too many self entitled people. Funny enough Dr. Phil talked about this on one of his episodes this week and we all know he knows his shit :).
I could probably go on and on… and I almost got caught up in this nonsense but I decided to step back and take the high road. For one, we are humans and noone is perfect. Myself included. We try to learn from it. Some do, some don’t. And you know what? That’s ok. In the end, to each his/her own. Right? The fact is that 2014 came along and although it was a challenging season it was by far an amazing experience. I was privileged to head a team of players that worked hard at every practice, at every match and were respectful of each other. Unlike the previous year where players tried to tear each other down. In the end what is important to realize is that youth sports, no matter which, goes beyond what happens on the field, ice, pitch, etc… it’s about learning life lessons and this past year was just that. The experience was about life lessons. About treating each other with respect. About character building. About realizing there is more to life then winning. As an individual I grew tremendously.. I accept my faults. I know that I had cracks in my foundation in 2013 but with my self discipline and help of others those cracks were sealed in 2014. For that I am thankful to everyone who was part of it in 2014. I realized 3 games into the season that these players that decided to take on this challenge deserved their moment and playing time and thus at that moment decided I would only bring in players when injury became an issue. My plan was to step back from coaching but a few months back I got a call and was asked to lead a fantastic team of 13 year old girls. Given I got my feet wet in 2014 being assistant with a girls team while leading the 15 year olds I couldn’t say ‘no’. The experience so far has been nothing short of amazing. I feel a renewed energy. Looking forward to what 2015 will bring.
I wanted to end off with a poignant moment.. my father’s death. Something that still today, the first day of 2015 I struggle with.. especially when I am alone. The mind always works overtime. I have many ‘down’ moments.. I have moments of regret.. mostly how I wish I could have spent more time with him. It’s a guilt I have a hard time shaking off. It’s a guilt that I will carry with me all the time. New Year’s resolutions come and go but I know that one thing I want to do is to make sure to spend as much time as possible with loved ones.. as I was writing this post I received a call from a co-worker/friend who broke devastating news to me that another co-worker/friend was found dead in his home this morning. An apparent heart attack. A co-worker and friend lost at such a young age. I am simply devastated. RIP.
#lifeisshort #liveeverymoment #takeineverymoment
Former CFO Erin Callan Regrets Not Having Children, Reignites Work-Life Balance Debate | Work + Money – Shine from Yahoo! Canada
I don’t think u need to be a CFO to relate to this story.. It resonates with everyone. U know the adage.. u only live once!!